A Romantic Castle and Bavaria

I awoke early, before my AirBnB hosts even got out of bed, left the flat keys on the desk and headed for the metro station to catch the train to Füssen, Germany. The train to Füssen was filled with tourists, eager to see the late King Ludwig’s Wagnerian dream castle, Neuschwanstein, which translates to New Swan Castle. Neuschwanstein is the fairy tale inspiration for Walt Disney’s Cinderella Castle in Disney World, with it’s towering spires built high on a hill surrounded by snow covered mountains and rapidly flowing rivers. The countryside surrounding the castle is green and fairly flat but very beautiful.

Our train arrived in the small town of Füssen, famous for one Europe’s most visited and dreamiest castles. It’s the stuff of storybooks and legends built by a young handsome king inspired by Wagner’s operas. Everyone rushed to bus 78, the one that would take us to the castles, one of which was inhabited by King Ludwig’s family and is situated on a gentle slope. We crammed into the bus and as we moved closer to our destination, we saw out the window, the hill shrouded in a blanket of thick fog, unable to see Ludwig’s castle. 

When our bus arrived at the stop, we rushed out, some people madly ran up the hill to the ticket office, trying to get ahead of the much anticipated long line that we’ve all read about. When we reached the ticket office, a kind of glass shoebox structure, there was a queue for people with reservations and the longer line for people who didn’t make reservations. I stood in the queue for people who didn’t make reservations. I wasn’t sure when I was going to get to the castle, so I took my chances. The wait was not very long. I purchased a ticket just to visit Neuschwanstein and not the other castle, because I was anxious to figure out my next plan of action for later that day.

I paid a small fee to take a shuttle up the hill to Mary’s Bridge, which provides impressive views of the castle, a gorge and the surrounding mountains. The air was a bit chilly, but sizzled with excitement as people walked across the bridge, snapping photos of each other and gaping at the precipice below. I walked to the end towards a trail with signs warning visitors to enter at their own risk. The trail was narrow and wound around part of a hill, providing breathtaking glimpses of the mountains in the distance, barely visible in the fog. I liked the fog because it made the area feel dreamy and otherworldly, if only other people weren’t around to mar the surreal experience. I believe King Ludwig had a vision, appreciated the arts, and could have been an artist himself, to conceive of building this castle on top of a hill surrounded by wild untamed beauty. Many called him Mad King Ludwig building this castle made him very unpopular with his people, so much so that he died shortly after his dream castle was completed and only lived there for a few months.

I walked back to the bridge and finally caught a glimpse of the glorious and magical Neuschwanstein in the misty distance. I walked down the trail and followed the signs towards the castle gates where I waited for my reservation time to appear on a TV screen. They only accept small groups of people accompanied by a tour guide. When my reservation time appeared on the TV screen, I approached the guarded turnstiles and entered the castle where the tour began. Throughout the castle, you can look out the window to catch a glimpse of the mountains, forests and deep gorge, it’s like being in a castle in the clouds. The castle was built in the 19th century and had working plumbing, using the water from the mountains. Ludwig had a toilet that he could sit on like a throne. The swan motif is seen everywhere from door handles to sculptures and paintings. The throne room is impressive, filled by a chandelier that resembles a crown. I kept trying to imagine this young handsome king gracefully walking through his castle, admiring the works of art and looking out his window, while listening to Wagner. A stage was created for the performance of Wagner’s operas, with elaborate sets and paintings.

When I left the castle, the fog had cleared and the castle was revealed, above it was a cerulean blue sky with large clouds lazily blowing by. Crowds of people took photos of each other with the castle in the background. I felt a little melancholy, and made my way down the path towards the summit of the hill to take my bus back to Füssen. I had to figure out where I was going next and how I was going to get there. I took the bus back to Füssen and looked for the correct bus stop for the bus that would take me to Reutte, Austria. I waited for some time even when the bus was scheduled to arrive but it didn’t show up. The skies turned gray and heavy.  I felt a chill as I waited with two young Japanese men also waiting for the same bus to arrive. I found a different bus and asked the driver if it would take me to Reutte, where I would take the train to Garmisch-Partenkirchen. He said it would take me to another town and I would need to take a train from there to Garmisch-Partenkirchen. It started to rain and the bus felt hot as a group of young men sat around me. I was nervous as I gazed at the chilly dark skies surrounding the lush hills. "Would I catch the correct train, where was I going and where would I sleep that night?” were questions I pondered. But for some reason it didn’t matter, because I would figure it out somehow. The transportation was so good in Germany and Austria, immaculate and modern.

The bus ended at my stop, in a small Bavarian village where I anxiously waited for my train. I walked around the village near the train station. It felt like a sleepy little town with not much to do, tranquil and relaxed. It felt like the kind of place where one would visit a grandparent, a place where you felt safe and carefree like a little child. At the train station, there was a child waiting for the train like me. It looked like his grandparents waited with him. He came to the bench I sat at, looked at the train table and smiled at me with his plump rosy cheeks, then said something to me in German. He ran back to his grandparents and the train approached. The train was a very small regional train, but very modern with large clean windows for viewing the countryside and mountains. The train slithered through valleys and past mountains to another train station, the station that would take me to Garmisch-Partenkirchen. 

I hopped on another train and viewed the breathtaking landscape of Bavaria, passing grand snowy mountains, little villages dotted with gingerbread houses, lush pastures, through tunnels, winding and grinding our way to Garmisch-Partenkirchen. We passed by the largest mountain in Germany and I wished I had time to go up it, but it was too late in the day and the weather is unpredictable up there. It can get really cold and it’s a little expensive to take the cable car to the top of the mountain. I was thrilled with just seeing the mountains from the train. 

When we arrived in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, a town once separate but joined together by the Nazis, I decided to stay there for the night to find a place to stay. I think it was a Sunday afternoon and most places were closed. I walked around parts of the town close to the station, pleased with finally visiting this little Bavarian town, once the host of the Winter Olympics. I wasn’t sure if I would find a place to stay at in this town and the first hotel I visited was rather expensive. This was the part of the trip I didn’t really plan, but thought I would try playing it by ear to see what would happen. I went into the next hotel, unsure about whether I would be able to afford a stay there. I had a feeling that the old man, dressed in traditional Bavarian attire, gave me a room discount of some sort, or maybe I just want to believe that he was a kind fellow that saw a single woman needing a nice place to stay at and he needed the business. The price was reasonable and included breakfast. When I arrived in the room with a single bed and looked outside my balcony window, I knew I made the right decision. I was so pleased with the view of the mountains from my room and with the accommodations. 

Feeling weak and hungry, I went downstairs and sat in the hotel restaurant, which was quite nice and comfortable. I ordered a traditional Bavarian dish, pork knuckle with kraut and a pint of Bavarian beer. The pork knuckle delivered to my table by a young woman wearing a lovely dirndl, was substantial. But I was starving from my long exciting adventure and I would make the attempt to devour the large hunk of tender meat on my plate, swimming in juicy gravy with large potato balls, a meal for the hungry and weary after a long day of working in the fields or hiking in the mountains. I ate until I couldn’t eat another bite, satisfied and ready to rest in my room. I walked outside onto the balcony to take another gaze at the starry night sky and at the mountains. I remembered what my uncle Ben used to say to me, a truck driver who drove across the country for many years, dying less than a year after my aunt died. He said, “I don’t know why you would want to travel. It’s all the same. Every place is the same.” “No Uncle Ben,” I thought. “It’s not all the same. It really isn’t!” I felt water in my eyes as I gazed at the mountains in the distance, thinking about my day and the journey I’ve had in Europe. I felt grateful and joyful for the opportunity to see these places, to meet kind people, and to have these experiences. I have no words to express the exhaustion and content I felt that night. I didn’t feel alone, but filled and free.

Salzburg's Hills

I ate a nice hearty traditional Bavarian breakfast at a cafe, then went to the train station to catch my train to Salzburg. I missed Vienna and regretted not staying there longer. It's a wonderful city, but I was ready to move on to the next city, Austria's Salzburg. It's claim to fame is the movie, "The Sound of Music." I didn't see much of Salzburg, but it's green hills and valleys are lush, dotted with traditional Bavarian houses. I was excited to see the snow capped mountains as we approached Salzburg.

Salzburg is a small town, but full of history. I walked around the old town of Salzburg. It's quite hilly in some parts, with cobbled streets and secret side streets or passageways.  I saw one that looked interesting but decided to come back to it later. I toured the Salzburg Cathedral then made my way up a narrow cobbled street to the cable car that would take me up to Salzburg Castle or Hohensalzburg Fortress. The fortress is a stronghold on a large hill that protected its people for centuries from invaders. It's amazing that so many people could live and work in this place when I could walk around it within a matter of minutes. There is a small church that shows pieces of the original religious art that was excavated. A museum shows artifacts from various time periods, royal and military as well as mundane objects. After finishing my tour of the fortress, I found a table with the best view in the world for a dinner and beer. Salzburg is surrounded by snow capped mountains and green hills. I'm so surprised how green and lush Bavaria is. It's unreal how beautiful this region is!

After I took the cable car down to town, I walked through an old cemetery that is maintained and visited by loved ones. The cemetery is bordered by a cliff face and it seems one can go inside the hill because there were windows high up in the cliff! I found Mozart's statue in a square and paid my respects.

I walked along the river and found people standing on a street, high up on a hill. I wanted to find my way up that hill. I walked through a narrow passageway that was a mixture of something medieval but with tiny bars tucked away along the street. I got a nice view of the river and the fortress. I went back the way I came, unsure where that street would take me. Then I found another small street with steps on one side and a road for walking or driving on. An old man wearing a trench coat and hat was wearily pulling a small suitcase up the hill. I had a tough time trudging up the hill myself. The hill started to provide a scenic view of the town and the backyards of some homes. Along the way there were concrete boxes enclosing religious figures of Jesus in various stages of his adult life. I felt like I was on a pilgrimage. At the top of the hill is a statue of Mary holding Jesus, protected by a dome and you can walk up a long flight of steps to approach the statue. Around the corner from the memorial or shrine is a very small park where you can sit and take in the view of the city as the sun sets. It was worth the trek up to this beautiful place which will live in my memory.

A Walk in the Park in Munich

I arrived in Munich on a Saturday morning, leaving the train station a bit disoriented. I finally get my bearings and find the flat that I will be staying at for just one night. I met Alexander and Patrick, who live in the flat with their beautiful well-behaved dog. Their flat is gorgeous, I loved everything about the place, even the room I would be staying in. Alexander recommended some places in Munich for me to visit and gave me directions and landmarks to look for. The park sounded the most interesting to me. I set out on my personal tour of the city based on notable landmarks and getting lost.

I took the train to the old city center which was packed with tourists gazing at the glockenspiel, a mechanized clock that provides a display of automatons set to the tune of bells. The packed crowd oo'd and ah'd at the spectacle which was finely crafted and is a marvel of Medieval brilliance. The square was filled with fine luxury stores and boutiques. I moved down the street towards the large yellow building where I saw the outdoor cafe Alexander told me about and found a lovely garden and palatial structure. There was a beer garden set in an actual garden, the perfect place to sit and enjoy a drink with friends on a warm Spring day like that day. I walked around the garden and found the park.

The park was lush and green, large enough to spend hours in. I walked down some trails following a creek to a river with people in wet suits with surfboards. They set up a way to make waves one can surf on. I watched them taking turns trying to ride the wave for as long as they could, then fall off the board in the river only to get back in the queue to try again. It looked like they were having quite a bit of fun and the spectators enjoyed watching them from the river banks and bridge where the waves started. I watched and photographed them for some time, seeing their enjoyment and thrill while trying surf the waves. I walked further into the park down various trails and paths. I followed the Bavarian music and found a huge beer garden filled with jolly people drinking and families enjoying their weekend in the park. I saw many wonderful things in the park and I'm glad I spent my day in Munich at the park, watching people, enjoying the Spring weather. 

My next objective was the Pinakothek Museums, but I didn't see them anywhere and no signs. I walked up and down the main boulevard, asking people for directions but no one could quite explain to me where the museum was. When I finally found the museums I was so exhausted from walking, I gave up wanting to visit the museum. I walked back to Alexander and Patrick's flat, weary and hungry. I told Alexander I was hungry and asked him if he could recommend something close by. He explained that Augustiner beer is the local beer and there are places in Bavaria called Gasthof which are like breweries where you eat, drink and socialize. I asked him if it was okay to go alone and he said of course, many people go alone into the Gasthof, you ask someone at a table if you can sit with them, talk to them and enjoy a dinner with drinks.

I found the Isator Gasthof and walked into the tiny packed bar. I suddenly felt claustrophobic and self-conscious. Everyone kind of stared at me intrigued. I looked for an open space at the tables but didn't want to sit with a group of men and the older women didn't seem to want me to sit there either. It was like being the new kid at a school, walking into a lunchroom unsure where you should sit. I felt hot and panicked, walked out of the Gasthof into the chilly air. I saw a man waiting near the Gasthof and asked him if he had been to the Gasthof. He said he had and that it was one of the oldest Gasthof in Munich with great food. He assured me that going into the Gasthof alone was fine so I decided to give it another try. I walked in the sweltering bar heated with alcoholic merriment and saw the same eyes looking at me wondering what I was going to do. I walked to the back of the bar which was only a few steps from the door and walked back out panicking once again, feeling flushed and afraid. I saw a group of young men that spoke English looking at the menu. I told them that it was really packed in there and asked them if they were going in. They walked in and I followed, feeling like I was part of a group that felt somewhat familiar, my American comrades. 

I found a seat near the bar on some high tops and sat there, unsure where to sit or what to do. I found that I was facing the men's toilet and could seem them as the doors opened and closed. I could sense that the group of old men seated at the table behind me were talking about me and shaking their head, wondering why I was sitting there. The Americans left for a moment, then returned. They stood by the bar, waiting for a group of people to vacate a table. I asked one of the men if I could join them. The guy introduced himself and said I could join their group at the table. We sat at the table and introduced ourselves. There were four young American students, visiting one of them in Germany. Two of them were studying in Spain. I could feel the age difference, it felt awkward, but we tried our best to talk about our travels and our impressions of German culture. The one living in Germany had become an expert and seemed snobbish or even embarrassed to be seen with Americans. I kind of understood his perspective, feeling like an alien in another country, trying to appear inconspicuous or maybe it irritated him that I was trying to integrate into his pack, but he seemed annoyed with his friends as well. 

Two German men around my age asked to sit at our table. They introduced themselves and the one that sat next to me spoke English well. His friend said the guy I was sitting next to was the CEO of a security software company. I was quite impressed and relieved to sit next to Germans that seemed interesting and more receptive to my company. They ate an appetizer followed by a substantial Bavarian dish. I enjoyed my food immensely along with my drink, feeling more relaxed and less on edge socially. The Americans paid their tab and finally left hurriedly. The Germans said they thought I was with them and I told them I had only just met them and joined them because I was nervous about going into the Gasthof alone. We talked about technology and I told the CEO about my blog. He was impressed with my photos and said he would follow the blog. We talked for a little while longer and then I said my farewell for the evening. I walked back to the flat feeling quite proud of myself for going into the Gasthof and meeting new people, something I think might be hard for anyone but especially someone with social anxiety like myself. I was pleased with how I spent the day and evening. I was ready to start a new day but also anxious about how the next day would fare. This was a part of my trip that made me feel uncertain, would my travel plans work out?

Spring in Vienna

I arrived in Vienna mid-afternoon, feeling a bit lost and unsure about where I was going, but saw the young people around me and instantly new it was a place I would like. It's quite different from Berlin, more relaxed, very hip and stylish. I took the underground subway to the MuseumsQuartier near the AirBnB flat I would stay at. I tried to find a way to pass the time until my meeting with the flat host. Actually, the host was out of town so her boyfriend was going to meet me.

The MuseumsQuartier consists of the Leopold Museum, the Mumok, a contemporary art museum and other museums. The central public space is like a courtyard, surrounded by walls, museums, and corridors. There are cafes and restaurants for people to relax and enjoy a drink or meal. I saw people of all ages from toddlers chasing pigeons, to children on field trips, to students studying or working on projects, and some sophisticated well dressed people that look like they are in the arts scene or have money.

I didn't have time or the energy to walk around the Leopold Museum, so I started my search for the AirBnB flat. I wandered around a maze of streets, asking people for directions, clueless about where I was going. This is what happens when you don't print a map of the area or use the maps app on your smartphone! It's back to using your intuition and asking people for directions, some of which led me down the street with me going back up the street. It was quite tiresome. Finally I found the flat and no one was home! I followed someone into the building, found the apartment and waited for my hosts boyfriend, Wlad. He shows up a few minutes later and seems rushed and perplexed that I had difficulty finding the flat. It was a nice spacious apartment in an old building. I was surprised and a little relieved that I would have the place to myself for a day or two.

Wlad gave me directions to a restaurant that served great falafels. I walked to the restaurant and found many new age shops selling crystals and buddhist meditation bowls. There were cafes, juice bars, and a variety of interesting shops. I found the Turkish restaurant and the server or host was kind of dismissive so I sat outside and waited for him to serve me. I spoke English and he figured out I American, then suddenly became more polite. I ordered a lamb dish with rice, vegetables and salad with a local beer, Pfizer. I felt strange sitting alone when everyone around me sat with someone else or in a group. I felt out of place and strange, a lone American woman traveling from city to city in Europe who couldn't speak or understand German. I missed Sharise and wished I had a companion, someone I could talk to. But it seemed that from now on in the trip, I would have to figure out a way to meet people or feel comfortable being alone. It's the feeling alone, strange and lost that gets me and I try to keep it under control, appearing confident and familiar with my surroundings. But most of the time I think I appear to look lost, alone and maybe stupid. After my meal, I walk back to the flat, exhausted and ready for sleep in a strange new place.

The next morning, I set out for the Leopold Museum to see Klimt's work and to discover a new artist, Schiele, who was heavily influenced by Klimt. I wasn't sure I would like Schiele because he drew or painted evocative very sexual poses of women, maybe pornographic. But I think Schiele must have been intrigued by women. Many of the women who modeled for him were prostitutes. Sometimes his wife modeled for him. I was surprised that Schiele was so young when he died, 28 years old I think. I didn't see the evocative pieces in the gallery for some reason, but beautiful inspiring work. I was moved and enthralled by Schiele and Klimt's work, not just of people but landscapes. This is what going to a museum is about. I found a few pieces that really made me feel emotional. Words couldn't describe how the simplicity and beauty of one of Schiele's paintings made me feel, almost giving me chills and tears. You might see so much beautiful art in a museum, but sometimes you see art that transcends, touched, a piece of the artist's soul and you almost feel what the artist might have felt when he saw it completed and perfect. That's an amazing feeling, to get what the artist is trying to communicate to the viewer, his or her vision, what's inside them or what they see in the world.

That emotion stuck with me throughout the day. It was spring time in Vienna and it was like a dream, perfect. I didn't do or see all the things in Vienna because I had little time there and I didn't want to spend my time in museums, the one was enough for me! I was content with walking around, getting lost, exhausting myself in this wonderful city because the energy there kept me going despite the painful feet. I wanted to keep going, seeing and doing more. I wished I could live there, but could someone my age just start over in a new city like Vienna, not know the language and come to feel the city was their own? It's a magnificent city full of culture, history and art, but would I be happy living there? That's what I'm trying to find, the place. Will I find it? Is place really important? We must be drawn to certain places because of the energy we feel, the people that live there, we feel like we fit or belong there. It feels familiar, like coming home.

Mucha and the Vltava River

Sharise and I set out to find the Prague National Gallery, which displays Mucha's masterpiece, "Slav Epic." Mucha is known for his lithographic prints, which are mostly commercial, but still beautiful. I have been obsessed with Mucha for years. But when I discovered his "Slav Epic," a series of 21 large paintings depicting the history of the Slavic people, from Russians to Czech, I had to see it.

When we reached the gallery, I just paid to see the "Slav Epic" and nothing else. Sure there was more art there to view but I wanted to spend my time just on this exhibit. It did not disappoint. When we entered the gallery, the first painting I saw was enormous. It was one of the ones I saw online that made me want to see the exhibit. A girl with wide frightened eyes returns your gaze. You're unable to look away, drawn into the painting and curious as to why she looks so afraid. What had she seen or experienced? The paintings depict historical scenes, wars, the struggles of the common Slavic people, dying, oppressed, clutching their children, trying to survive in a grim place. There are paintings of scholars, religious scenes, and some pagan or mythological symbols, one depicted a rite of passage for young boys. Each painting looks like it was a huge undertaking, probably requiring scaffolding to paint, I'm not sure how he was able to paint the large size pieces.

After we left the museum, we decided to visit the cemetery where Alphonse Mucha was laid to rest. The cemetery is in an interesting part of Prague, away from the old city center. The memorials, statues and art in the cemetery are beautiful and touching. Many famous people are buried there, most of which I don't know, other than Mucha and Dvorak. I can't remember if Kafka is buried here too. After some time, we finally found Mucha's name with other notable people on plaques at a grand memorial. A little old lady who seems to frequent the cemetery showed us Mucha's name. I was thrilled but also perplexed. I imagined an artistic and unique memorial just for Mucha, but his name is on a plaque with four other people and there were several of these plaques on the memorial wall.

I went into the church at the cemetery and it was a small but pretty church with lovely art nouveau illustrations of saints. Outside the cemetery and church is a park. It seems families come out here with their babies, people bring their pets and some people jog in the vicinity of this cemetery/park. I thought it was quite unusual and interesting. We walked down numerous flights of steps to the Vltava River. This was a fabulous place for cycling, jogging, feeding swans and having a drink with friends. I could see myself wanting to visit a place like this often, either to relax by the river or having a drink with friends. It's a lively place and the locals seem to enjoy coming here.

Finally, we ended the night with our last dinner. I had to try the famous goulash of Prague and Sharise picked a great place to try it. I ate the goulash with small fried potato pancakes and dumplings which actually look like thick slices of bread. The goulash was might tasty with my local Prague pilsner. We shared an apple strudel for dessert, then walked back to her flat.

The next morning, we ate breakfast at her local cafe, called Faux Pas. I felt nervous about my departure from Prague but I also felt ready to leave. I felt sad for leaving Sharise and because I knew I would miss the company. We both felt a little like crying, but held back the tears. I was on my to Vienna, not sure what to expect, would I make new friends or be alone? My train ride from Prague to Vienna made me feel anxious and sad.

Life's Lessons

Sharise and I started out the day with a pleasant walk in the park with the dogs. I think she spends quite a bit of time in the park with them, throwing balls, letting them socialize with other dogs and burning off their boundless energy. The mother and son, Jessie and Helmut play with each other and take turns chasing after the ball. They are a delight to watch and play with. I threw the ball a few times with a stick used to throw the ball a good distance.

After we took them back to the flat, we went to Cafe Faux Pas for breakfast. We each ordered a latte and a crepe filled with salmon and spinach. She said many expats lived in the area. I heard quite a few Americans on the street or in the city, some didn't seem to be tourists, but residents like Sharise. Sharise says this is her home now and she wouldn't return back to the US if she can gain permanent residency here. I'm starting to understand why, I may consider becoming an expat. There isn't anything waiting for me in the US except my parents, who would worry about me endlessly and my fourteen year old dog, Denbo

We headed into town for the Mucha Museum which I told Sharise before the trip, was the only thing I had planned on seeing in Prague. All other site seeing recommendations, I left up to her. I just wanted to spend time with Sharise, which was one of my only reasons for coming to Prague and what led me to make my way around Europe.

We got to the Mucha Museum and I hesitated. Sharise had planned on trying to do some writing while waiting for me, because she had an assignment that was almost due. She walked with me to the museum ticket booth and I hesitated in buying the ticket. I wasn't in the mood to see the Mucha exhibit even though seeing his work was one of the reasons for my visit to Prague. I don't remember what I said or how it started, but Sharise was exasperated with my bringing up the Swede and told me it was stupid of me to not share my blog URL with him or get his information if I liked him so much. I didn't realize it, but I talked about him quite a bit and I thought about him incessantly. I think to her it didn't make sense for me to talk about someone I liked so much and not share my blog with him. And she's right, it didn't make sense but at the time it did, for me, because I was afraid of what he might discover about me on the blog.

I told myself after we parted at the subway station, "Detachment. Don't become attached to this guy." We were both traveling, we had a great day together and he was much younger than me. But other things went through my mind during the day we spent together, "Why is this attractive, intelligent, sophisticated young man spending his day with me?" After all, I was wearing a skirt with no tights or stockings, an unattractive gray hoodie and ballet flats. My shirts, socks and pants were drying on a rack at the flat. We met in a ticket line outside a little building for the Bundestag Dome.  We started talking and he was instantly sweet and interesting. After we made our reservation for visiting the dome in the evening, we spent the day together, talking endlessly about history, politics, art, culture. I thoroughly enjoyed his company and couldn't believe I could find someone so interesting to talk to and so wonderful to be around. I was honestly attracted to him in so many ways, but doubted myself throughout the day., feeling self conscious at times. In the subway car on our way to my stop, a young woman stared at him endlessly trying to make eye contact with him. I don't remember if they did, I stared at her, unable to believe her boldness. I must be missing something, some essential body language, techniques, communication between people that brings two people together. Looking back, I wish I had done things differently, given my companion my blog URL, shared some information, had the energy to go dancing with him at a nightclub that he was going to with friends, but I didn't. Did I throw away a golden opportunity or did I truly believe that this was meant to be a temporal thing, a fleeting moment of human connection and happiness with another person, a glimpse into a life that I wanted, that this was possible? Before we parted, he wished me safe travels and gave me a wink. It felt like the end. Though I didn't want it to end, I felt like it needed to end, in order for me to learn and to move on. I couldn't attach myself to a person, but I somehow have, by thinking of him incessantly and wishing I had done things differently, regret.

This brings me to Sharise's comment at the Mucha ticket booth, "Susan, it was stupid of you not to share your information with the guy!" and that hurt. I couldn't hold back the tears. I cried at the subway stop as the train approached. I went back to the point where we said our "Goodbyes." I cried when I reached the flat, thinking about him and what a terrible mistake I felt like I had made. I cried there at the ticket booth because of regret, because I felt stupid and Sharise was right, it was stupid but it was also stupid to talk about him after I had made my decision to not share my blog with him because I was afraid my blog would become too personal and too honest. What if he read my blog, what if? Sharise doesn't hold back her comments, she's frank and honest. Maybe this was something I needed to hear, but at the time it was painful and I couldn't bear it hearing from someone else how silly and stupid I was. The tears flowed for quite some time. I tried wiping them, bought a beer at a stand in the square and we walked to the metronome. But I couldn't stop crying no matter how hard I tried to think of something else. I was disappointed with myself. Would I meet someone else, will I be alone in life, unable to figure out the rules of the dating game, which I haven't played in over a decade? We stopped at a bridge so I could take photos to take my mind off my sadness. Then we crossed the street and approached the many steps to the metronome at the top of the hill. I needed to climb those steps quickly, clutching my beer, finding a distraction. When we reached the metronome, a symbol of Czech freedom, a tall red needle swaying back and forth in some strange beat, we sat near it, taking in a view of the city. I realized that Sharise said what she had to say and I needed to hear it so I could stop talking and thinking about him so I could move on. We all make mistakes and learn from them, then move on. At least that's what we're supposed to do, not repeat mistakes and find ways to move on and not fixate on them, constantly beating ourselves up for being absent-minded or stupid when we needed to be aware and alert. Ultimately, I know this was supposed to happen, everything on this trip was supposed to happen because I'm learning from all of it, I'm living.

We walked through a park and found our way to the Prague Castle and Cathedral. I was still feeling sullen and tried taking photographs to improve my mood. We found the Queen's Palace and the Orangery, which led to the entrance to the Castle and Cathedral. We saw the changing of the guards at the Castle Gate, guarded by young handsome men in uniform. We walked around the exterior of the church but it didn't seem to be open I find myself not wanting to do certain things on the trip which I thought would be the typical tourist thing to do, visit the museum and cathedrals, but something in me resists. I don't want to be the tourist, but I fell into a tourist trap and was swindled. It happened so quickly. After we walked across the Charles Bridge, Sharise needed to go home to take her dogs out for a walk in the park and to write her article. She thought it would be good for me to spend some time alone shopping or exploring the city. I approached a stand in the square and tried to order a slice of ham, but they tried to serve and charge me more for the ham than I wanted or what was listed on the sign prices, so I walked away to get more money. I've been so careful and cautious with money, but this time I just didn't think. I went to an ATM and a man asked me if I had change for a 1,000 Crowns, which was about $50. Stupidly, I did the exchange, looked at the money and realized that something didn't seem right. I went to the Exchange Bureau and asked the man what kind of money this was because it looked Russian. He said it was Belarussian money, which was worth nothing. 

I called Sharise and told her what happened. We met at a tram stop and I lost my appetite and like for the city. I felt like a tourist, what was I doing in the tourist area, being a tourist? I don't know why I wasn't thinking or more alert. But Sharise said, that we all do stupid stuff, she does stupid stuff. We all make mistakes! We might beat ourselves up for a little white, but must learn from it, become more cautious and move on. This was a little mistake, just money. Worse things could happen like a more costly mistake or injury. This was a warning as a lone female traveler, always be aware, especially who you interact with. I won't take my father's advice, "Don't trust anyone!" to the extreme. You have to be open sometimes, otherwise how will you meet great people and have wonderful experiences, but listening to our intuition is important and knowing when to take risks.

One thing I've learned about being with the Swede, Bilal and Sharise is it's nice to have companions and friends while traveling, but it's essential for me to learn to be alone. I need to look and feel confident when I'm alone anywhere. This is what this trip is about for me, independence, confidence and learning to take care of myself and make good decisions, staying grounded and being aware, growing into the person I want to become. I know I'll get there one day.

Visiting a Friend in Prague

I awoke early to pack my things and to catch a train at the HBF station for Prague. I felt quite sad about leaving Berlin and wanted to stay longer. But I'll be back one day. At the station, I wandered around for quite some time, lost again and confused by the signs. Where was platform 1? It was also chilly in the station so I visited some shops to warm up. I started to hear chanting and a loud boom. I looked outside and it was filled with a crowd, many wearing bright blue shirts and scarves, chanting for their football team and creating a real rowdy racket. The station was filled with police officers on high alert. Finally, I found my platform and waited with the other chilly and anxious passengers for the train to arrive.

I boarded the train and sat in a compartment with a German woman that was ready for a hike but was fanning herself, looking overheated and anxious. The other woman was prepared for her four hour journey to Prague. She ate two sandwiches and an apple. It made me feel quite hungry, so I stepped out of the compartment to enjoy the scenery and to get some air. I spoke to a young woman who boarded the train at Dresden. She spoke to me in German at first and then in English, "It's beautiful, isn't it?" We were looking at the houses and hilly landscape around the Elbe River, which started in Dresden. I considered stopping in Dresden for a bike ride along the Elbe. Maybe I'll come back and try this one day. There were many cyclists and hikers on the Elbe.

When I arrived in Prague, I found my long time friend Sharise and her two dogs, Helmut and Jessie. I was so glad to see her. She was wearing a tank top and jeans. It was warm and bright outside, a perfect day. We hiked up the road towards her flat. I felt so alien in this place, I wasn't sure what to expect from Prague, it felt so "Eastern European" and I'm not sure what that means. Then I noticed how colorful and beautiful the buildings in her neighborhood looked. She lives about a fifteen minute walk from the main train station. It was a little hike, but didn't require taking the tram. The sidewalks weren't concrete, but cobbled. The buildings are all over a century old and each are a unique color with decorative embellishments. One building has a most unusual entrance, with what resembles Babylonian statues on each side of the door, and a sphinx like creature above the doorway.

When we entered Sharise's building, I was immediately impressed with the unique woodwork and designs on the doors and in the hallway. I couldn't believe she was living in such a gorgeous building that seemed like it would be so expensive to rent in a city like Paris or London. We took a tiny, closet-like elevator to the fifth floor, the top floor of the building. When she opened the door to her flat, I was impressed with how clean and modern it looked, parquet floors in the entrance, tile floors in the living room and a modern kitchen, two bedrooms, a guest and full bathroom. It was a really nice airy flat and I immediately felt comfortable and at home in her place.

I told Sharise I needed a drink, like a refreshing cold beer and something to eat. She said, "Well you'll need Crowns in Prague, we don't use Euros. Let's go to the local beer garden at the park and I'll get your food and beer." So Sharise took her two dogs and we walked across the street to the park. She lets her dogs go unleashed, mother and son. They run and play, they're really sweet and a joy to be around. We entered a large enclosed area with a couple of booths, one serving food, another drinks. There picnic tables filled with people, children and pets are welcome. A large projector displays the latest football game and the guys cheer when their team makes a score. We both order a bratwurst, which comes with two yummy pieces of bread on the side. I squeeze a kind of dijon mustard on my sausage and take it to the table. Sharise asks what kind of beer I want and I ask for a pilsner or whatever the local brew is. The Czech Republic is supposed to be famous for their pilsner beers. Sharise brings me a pilsner and a dark beer for herself. She said eating meat was something she wasn't used to doing lately since she's trying to eat healthy wholesome food, but she would enjoy it while I'm visiting. She bit into her sausage and said, "Oh, so good!" I tried the sausage and then understood, it was juicy and rich, a delicious sausage. I ate bread with my sausage but couldn't finish all of it. Sharise gave the rest of my sausage to Helmet who was sitting next to her on the bench. I hope he enjoyed that treat. We had a really good time laughing and catching up on what was going on in our lives.

Sharise took the dogs back to her flat and we decided to set out for Old Town Prague. She tried to help me get oriented with the area, showing me where the trams were and how to get to the "touristy" part of the city. We passed a museum, a bronze statue of some historical figure on a horse and walked down a street full of shops. I was bewildered.  We came to a large church with an astronomical clock, a real tourist attraction, and the main square. Various artists perform in the square, a man singing cover songs and playing a guitar was surrounded by a crowd. His songs were in English and all were recognizable. I bought a beer and Sharise bought a warm mulled wine from the street vendor.

We walked down some streets and came to the Vltava River that runs through Prague, absolutely breathtaking. This river appeared to be the life blood and gem of Prague. By the time we reached the famous Charles Bridge, it was twilight and I was going to try to take a photo of the castle and church on the other side of the river. I believe I took some surprisingly nice shots of the illuminated buildings in the distance. We went to Slavia Cafe, for a dessert. I ordered a delicious cake with berries and a hot pear tea. Then we walked to the tram and headed back to Sharise's flat. I was exhausted, my feet ached and I knew I would sleep well and did.

A Photographer's Tour of Berlin

I met Bilal El Soussi this morning, looking for the Berlin Wall, or something! My way of touring Berlin involves wandering around expecting to bump into something interesting. He was in the park near his flat trying to get the perfect shot of some swans in the morning, with the light behind him. He has an impressive telephoto lens which he carries around with him everywhere he goes. He saw me taking photos and offered to shoot with me around Berlin. That was worth more to me than visiting the art museums. It was a perfect day, it was warm, the sky was clear blue and families were out with their children and pets. I saw so many lovely children with their parents on bikes, playing in parks, chasing bubbles.

Bilal is a serious photographer from Lebanon, who is doing an internship at the German Parliament, kind of a country exchange program. There are people from 32 countries from around the world in his group. We took some amazing shots. He has a keen eye and sees things I don't notice right away, like this old building that produces honey from bees. There were bees buzzing around a top window and some flowers in unusual places.

I learned a lot about photography today just by watching him and learning about composition. We went to Alexander Platz, which is a famous square, great for people watching, wandered around Museum Island and ate lunch by the river while observing some bronze statues of three girls and a boy sitting on a wall.  Each figure is unique and lifelike. When you really sit and look at them you can get a sense of what they're feeling or might be thinking by their body language. We saw children chasing after bubbles created by string, sticks and soapy water while a native American man dressed in traditional clothes sang ethereal music. Bubbles of all shapes, long, large and small floated in the air like a dream. We went to an artist market and I found a vintage wool hat in a 20's style which I really wanted but didn't buy. We looked at photography, unique paintings and crafts then spoke to the artists and craftsmen.

We went to Mauer, which means wall in German, a place where the Berlin Wall used to be and now displays a kind of memorial piece that looks like tall rebar lined up where the wall used to be, dividing East and West Berlin. It's hard to believe the horror and fear inflicted on people in the past. Now it's a peaceful place full of life and memories from the past so people do not forget what happened and don't repeat it. There are memorials and reminders everywhere in Berlin, bullet holes in pillars, memorial plaques by the sidewalk of someone that was killed by the wall, perhaps trying to escape from the East. Then we went to Mauer Park because Bilal needed to rest and so did my feet. A gigantic blister developed on my right foot, but it didn't matter because all I wanted to do was to keep walking, fascinated by everything around me.

Then Bilal had to take care of some business and I wandered around Berlin some more, quite exhausted from walking everywhere. I'm starting to understand the underground trains, but not the trams and buses on the streets. They have an excellent public transportation system in Germany, really impressive.

I went back to the Tiergarten. It's an beautiful park, right in the middle of the city. Yesterday, my Swedish friend and I saw a fox emerge from some bushes near the Tiergarten. We were all so surprised to see a wild creature in the city. It came really close to me, looked bewildered, then scurried off.

Berlin really is an unforgettable city, the architecture is modern and very well designed, but is integrated into their historical buildings and monuments. I noticed that it seems like Berliners love spending time with their children, their pets, I saw dogs on the train, and they have a fondness for flowers. I think they are very proud people, friendly and helpful to visitors. I wandered around Potsdamer Platz for quite some time this evening, frustrated and not sure where to go for information. I finally met a man with a bike who said he would walk with me to show me where to find the underground station because it was too confusing to explain and he could tell I was distressed and utterly lost.

I'm pretty sure I will return to Berlin one day. It seems like Spring is a great season to visit Berlin, when the leaves on trees are just starting to emerge and it's not crowded with hoards of tourists. It was a gorgeous day and I'm grateful to Bilal for showing me around Berlin and teaching me some important things about photography.

An Unforgettable Day in Berlin

I woke up late this morning, exhausted from the flight and yesterday's long train ride from Cologne to Berlin. I washed my clothes last night but didn't hang them to dry until this morning. I packed lightly is rather an understatement. I thought I packed a black button down sweater but it mysteriously disappeared. So I left this morning wearing a skirt, the shirt I wore last night, a sweater I borrowed from a friend and some ballet flats with no tights.

Today, Berlin was chilly and overcast, but it luckily did not rain. I had a rough start trying to figure out which train to take and where I was going. Eventually, I found myself at Potsdamer Platz. I didn't know anything about Potsdamer Platz, I just followed the tourists and those groups are easy to find, look for cameras and name tags!

I found a cafe, nibbled on a waffle and sipped on a cafe au lait. Eventually, I left the cafe and braved the chill outside, not sure where I was going. I found the impressive Sony Center, wandered around and finally knew where I was going. I walked down the boulevard, and found the lovely and tranquil Tiergarten.

First Day in Europe

After waking up from a sleepless night in the economy class on the Delta plane, our plane landed at the Brussels airport. The pilot announced a temperature of about -1C and I saw a dreary foggy sky blanketing a green countryside and raindrops on the window. I got through customs in a breeze, with plenty of time to catch my train to Brussels Nord, where I would catch my train to Cologne.

Feeling quite lost, I met three British men who also seemed unsure if we were hopping on the right train to our destination into Brussels. I found a group of men who were walking into the train in uniforms that appeared to work for the train company. They said it would take me to my station, so I sat back and caught a glimpse of Brussels. When the train stopped at my station and I stepped out, it was chilly, windy and rainy. Not pleasant weather, so I stepped into the shelter and waited for my train.

Others waited eagerly with me for the train, but my wait wasn't long. The German DB train stopped, so I went in and found a seat. As we started to leave Brussels and Belgium, the sky started to clear and I saw the comforting sky and sun wash the countryside landscape with light. We passed small towns and Liege, which looked like a really interesting and rather large town. The station was modern with large white arches.

When we approached Cologne (Köln) Station and I emerged from the train into the bustle, I saw a beautiful almost Victorian train station like what you might imagine to see in Antwerp, massive steel arches and grids. The station below is a labyrinth of eateries and small shops. I saw so many things I wanted to eat, but I waited to see if I might find more interesting places outside. When you leave the station entrance, you look up and find the massive gothic Köln Dom or Cologne Cathedral. The cathedral dominates the place, drawing you to it and captivating you from all angles. The structure is rather overwhelming, darkened with age and probably witness to some of the wars in the last century.

I entered the cathedral, expecting to pay a fee, but you can visit it for free. I approached an alter to Mary I believe, offered a donation to light a candle and said a small prayer for safe travel through Europe. I felt awkward, praying, something I haven't been used to doing in years, but others prayed and I thought it wouldn't hurt to offer a little prayer. I'm not religious but I'm drawn to these gothic cathedrals, never tired of experiencing the grandness and beauty of these places.

(to be continued)